One of My Old Trees Fell Down

By Howard Stanten MPT, CPCC

Leadership begins with self-awareness.  Who am I at my core? What are the values I want to honor?  If I were to raise my own flag, for what would it stand?

I had one of those self-awareness moments a few days ago working with a gifted spiritual healer, Lisa Holcomb.  Here’s a look into that moment.

I say, “I have a disruptive and resonant energy swirling in my gut. It wants to emerge.  It ascends into my throat.  Here, the swirling slows. And, as it slows, it hardens into a lump. My throat feels narrow and tight.”

“And, the energy descends back down into my gut.  Quieter now. Until, the swirling starts again.”

“And, the cycle repeats itself.” 

“I am restless…knowing there is a shift occurring within me. I am wanting the energy to get past my swollen throat. I am wanting the lump to become sweet liquid honey and pour out of me, becoming what it is meant to be.  I am restless, now.  With this wanting.”

She says, “One of your old trees has fallen down.” 

Her words echo and repeat themselves inside me. And, the self-awareness consumes me.   So pure, so present, so true.

Coming to know that kind of truth starts to crack me.  Like a piece of tempered glass, there is no returning to what I was the moment before those words.

“The roots are still tethered to the ground,” she says.

I look down and see the old tree with its roots twisting out from its base, curling back down into the ground.  I am aware of being still attached and being free to move forward, all at once.
I live into this paradox.  Alive with possibility. Resonant.  Changed and The Same.

Two days later.  I ask someone who is pushing against the heavy weight of a decision, “What if, for today, you just let it go?”

 I realize now the question is meant as much for me and my old fallen tree.

What if the roots of my old fallen tree let go?  Then, I realize, there is no “if."

One of my old trees has fallen and the roots will let go.

And, when I once again raise my own flag, for what will it stand…. now?
 

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