THREE POWERFUL STEPS TO GET THE CHANGE YOU WANT
These steps come from a synthesis of my passionate interest and study of the following human development fields: Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Positive Intelligence, Developmental Psychology, Flow, and Structural Conflict/Tension. If that doesn't impress you, consider this: It is the super successful folks in this world that highly utilize the services of professional coaches. Eric Schmidt (Google CEO), Oprah, Bill Clinton, Alan Mulally (Former Ford Motor Co, CEO), Leonard DiCaprio, the list is endless. They all credit coaching as being an integral part of their success. I have no doubt they all use some closely related variation of the steps below.
1. TURN OFF AUTO-PILOT
Do you find yourself going through your days without much passion or inspiration, not connected to what is happening? Perhaps your present life course was set sometime in the distant past and limiting beliefs are now hollering, “Stay away from the steering wheel, you might crash!” If so, you’re on auto-pilot.To change, YOU have got to start flying the plane and paying close attention to what you are experiencing.Turning off auto-pilot helps you increase self-awareness and access the clarity and purpose necessary to begin moving in a new direction.
Action Step: For five minutes twice a day sit in a quiet, comfortable space and simply notice what it is like to take slow, deep breaths. Pay attention to how you feel before and after the exercise. Take some notes about your experience. Leave your Perfectionist Self in the other room. You can’t do this wrong.
2. TAKE STOCK OF YOUR COMFORT ZONES
What parts of your life are safe, familiar routines?Reading your favorite blog? Smoking? Regular exercise? There is no right or wrong here.There is what serves you well and what keeps you from getting what you want.
Action Step: Label a three column list: “Comfort Zone,” “Benefit,” and “Cost.” For example, “Exercise every morning.” Benefit=Good Health. Cost= Stress from Inflexibility. Or, “Smoking” Benefit=Calms me down. Cost=Poor Health. Decide which comfort zones aren’t serving you and commit to tossing them out the window.
3. GET CONNECTED TO YOUR POWERFUL "WHY"
You’ve taken the first two steps, and you’re still mindlessly scrolling through Facebook while your life remains unfulfilling.Even if a comfort zone isn’t serving us, we won’t ditch it until we have a damn good reason why.
Action Step: Connect to “WHY” you want change by creating a personal mission statement that reflects your highest values. Ask yourself, what’s really important to me about this change? What values will I be honoring by changing course? What would my life look like if I knew I couldn’t fail?
(WARNING:Don’t go to “HOW” you are going to make this change happen just yet.. At this point, “THE HOW” is likely a disguised comfort zone serving to keep you in the safety of not moving forward.)
Get creative. Use pictures, prose, poems, songs, whatever works for you. There’s even an app for that! The important thing here is to get your “Powerful Why” into a physical form to access when unwanted comfort zones try to lure you back to familiar harbors. It is the clarity and purpose of your “Powerful Why” that will compel you to start creating the change you really want.